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Their own anxiety and need for control causes them to be 'understanding' of what you're going through, but you need to be the parent. "Saying nothing will leave your child stressed, as if he must compartmentalize both worlds and tiptoe around this other experience.
Get outside help for yourself, get therapy if necessary, and maintain those boundaries. And it might be difficult, but never criticize your ex -- it's a criticism of your child, who, of course, is 50% of your ex-husband or wife. Say, 'It sounds like you are feeling sad/mad/upset about meeting your dad's new girlfriend, is that right? On the other hand, grilling the child puts him squarely in the middle, which is an impossible position emotionally.
Historical estimates indicate that in French, English, or Spanish villages in the 17th and 18th centuries at least one-third of children lost one of their parents during childhood; in 19th-century Milan, about half of all children lost at least one parent by age 20; in 19th-century China, almost one-third of boys had lost one parent or both by the age of 15.
Divorce was generally rare historically (although this depends by culture and era), and divorce especially became very difficult to obtain after the fall of the Roman Empire, in Medieval Europe, due to strong involvement of ecclesiastical courts in family life (though annulment and other forms of separation were more common).
Historically, the death of a partner was a major cause of single parenting.
Single parenting can also result from the breakup or divorce of coupled parents who leave and choose to not co-parent, thus leaving one parent to raise and support the child on their own.
Many children carry the battle scars of divorce well into adulthood.
It also provides a recorded message, admissible into court, so parents tend to be more careful when using it.In the United States, since the 1960s, there has been a marked increase in the number of children living with a single parent.The 1980 United States Census reported that 19.5% were single parent households."Too many parents attempt to communicate through their children," Neuman says, "which causes undue emotional stress on them and forces them to negotiate a situation their own parents could not handle.Email is an excellent tool nowadays to communicate with your ex-spouse.
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The morality and advisability of single motherhood has long been debated in the US.